When Introversion Isn’t Solitude

I am an introvert and while I love my community; I have to be mindful of withdrawing for replenishing; otherwise, I am worse for wear. Over the years, I have learned to notice my bodily cues of when it’s time to retreat. When I do, I love it. I do whatever makes my heart happy, whether it’s wandering through a museum, diving into a new book, or going to the movies. The key is that I do it alone. So when I received an invitation from the Lord to practice silence and solitude this year, I thought, “Yeah! Easy peasy! I got this!” I quickly found out that my introverted ways of replenishing were not the practice of solitude. Yes, they were beneficial and an important part of my self-care, but solitude they were not.

In the writings of Henri Nouwen in The Way of the Heart, I discovered that,

It’s the place where I fight to stay when my flesh is desperately crying out for a distraction, be it entertainment, a book or a conversation.

It’s the place where my vulnerability, that I perceive as a sign of weakness, bubbles up into the hands of my loving Father.

It is the place where the ugliness of my soul rears its head, leaving me inconsolable from the exposure of my depravity, only to be reminded that there is One who took my depravity upon His blameless Self.

It is in this place, where I was reminded of Isaiah 30:15 NKJV,

In Isaiah 30, this is one of the prophetic rebukes to the Israelites. They had aligned themselves with Egypt, trusting in that alliance to save them rather than God. The last portion of that verse reads, “…But you would not”. God gave them an invitation, and they declined. I received the same invitation this year, which begged the question, “What proverbial Egypt had I aligned myself with from which God wants to deliver me?” Whatever it is, the instruction I know to follow is to return and rest in Him. To hasten into the place of solitude.

The NASB uses the language of repentance,

Repentance has been a common occurrence in this place of solitude. The inability to hide spotlights the need to repent. It is in the place of quietness where I am confronted with my humanity and all its shortcomings. The ugly emotions that sometimes swell up, often shockingly so because in my busyness I had done such a good job of suppressing and covering those volatile places in my heart.

If you read my blog at the beginning of January, you know I began the year by Decluttering my Quiet Time. This was followed by accepting an invitation into the practice of silence and solitude.

I like to think of silence as the partner to solitude. The two go hand in hand, yet you might wonder what the difference is. Nouwen writes in The Way of the Heart, “Silence completes and intensifies solitude….Silence is the way to make solitude a reality.”

While solitude is withdrawing into a place with God for the sake of transformation. Silence is exercising holding our tongues and listening instead. I come from a faith tradition where I was taught to pray, but I was not taught to listen. In her book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, Ruth Haley Barton writes,

It’s been interesting, this place of solitude and silence; rest and quietness. It often feels unproductive. Yet I am learning to sit with the discomfort of that feeling and trust that God is doing a transformative work in me. As I focus on this pared-down mode I am in, I rarely get great revelation in the place of quietness, but as I get on with my day, sometimes I suddenly see an answer to a question I had clearly. I hear that “truer more reliable Voice.”

Friend, have you received any invitations from the Lord this year? If so, I’d love to hear what He’s invited you into.

Going Deeper

Friend, if also exploring the spiritual practices of silence and solitude, I’ve created some journal prompts for you. Click here to download. ​

Until next week …

Miracles + Blessings!

Brenda

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