Surrender

When I asked Holy Spirit what to write about for this post, I heard the word, “surrender“. On Wednesday morning, I was in a Bible study, where we attempted to answer the following question: “What does it mean to love the Lord your God and worship Him with all your heart and all your soul?”

We were studying Deuteronomy 11:13 CSB:

At the end of our time together, my friend Sofia made a prayer request on behalf of the group, “God, would you give us the grace and help us surrender to You?” I thought, “Phew! This is a dangerous prayer!” I knew the answer to this prayer for any of us would be uncomfortable at the very least.

So, I started writing about surrender, and everything I wrote I kept deleting. It went on. Write. Delete. Write. Delete. Finally, I stopped and lay down. Soon, I heard what He wanted me to write about. With everything in me, I didn’t want to write about this. I didn’t want to write about it because it’s been a highly guarded, private, tender place in my heart. An area I didn’t care to share publicly, but we had asked for the grace to surrender. Now, He was calling me on it, and I didn’t like that.

“Surrender your grief to Me by writing about it,” He whispered.

On April 13, 2024, we lost a dear one. Heather, my best friend’s little sister, who by default became my little sister. At the tender age of 39, she went into the arms of her heavenly Father, leaving behind a husband and two beautiful children. When I got the news, I was stunned. I couldn’t process it, so I put it all away neatly in a box and put it at the back of the lowest shelf.

Until recently, as her tombstone unveiling was being planned. I felt a tap on my shoulder to pick up the box, but I ignored it. I still wanted control of my grief. I would decide when and how much I would release. Well, today the Lord said it’s time for Him to take it. So, I’m giving away this grief that has felt safest in my hands. I’m giving it to the only One who can heal my fractured heart.

So, friends, you are my witnesses. Today, I hand my grieving, fractured heart to Jesus.

If you also are being asked to hand over a tender place in your heart, I pray you feel safest in His arms. I pray that even in the pain of it, you will sense His presence and comfort.

Until next week …

Dearest Heather,

I miss you, sweetheart. From Christmas in England to the World Cup in South Africa and all our conversations in between. I will forever cherish my memories of you. I will cherish your love forever. Love, Brenda ❤️