From Fear to a City on a Hill
My Journey to Confident Public Speaking
I remember the first time I was asked to speak in front of a large crowd and deliver a prepared speech. I was 13 years old, at school on the east coast of South Africa.
My teacher asked me to give a speech in front of the entire school I attended which included high school students too.
Big school.
Big audience.
Big deal.
And I said yes.
Out loud.
Inside, however, my brain screamed: “What are you doing?!”
I was flattered that my teacher had asked me. I said yes because I was secretly hoping for a miracle. Maybe—just maybe—on the day itself, confidence would descend from heaven. I’d walk onto the stage, wow everyone, and surprise them…including myself.
Well, that didn’t happen!
When the day arrived, I didn’t just avoid the stage. I avoided school altogether.
“Tummy cramps,” I told myself. Fear, if we’re being honest.
My teacher and I never spoke about what happened. And as the years went on, I became very skilled at saying no—or simply disappearing whenever the spotlight appeared.
Here’s the ironic part: I was always leading something. Starting groups. Helping friends. Offering advice. I always had something valuable to share. I was more than happy to lead behind the scenes.
But the moment it came to standing on a stage—or formally sharing my ideas in meetings—my heart would pound and my thoughts would spiral:
“What if I say something ridiculous?”
“What if people laugh?”
“What if I fail”?
Years later, living in London, I found myself surrounded by people full of confidence—people who walked fast, talked fast, thought fast. At work meetings, I would hesitate, thinking my ideas were too silly or too obvious. Almost every time, someone else would say exactly what I had been thinking. Well… sometimes theirs was utterly ridiculous, and mine was obviously better 😉. And no one blinked. No laughter. No judgment. Just nods.
Why was I sitting on the sidelines, watching life instead of participating in it?
My church was no different. It was a hub of global leaders, all radiating confidence. And there I was, leading quietly in the background—observing, supporting, contributing…conditionally. Why was I comfortable here, but terrified to speak fully? What was I afraid of? And if I had something valuable to share, why was I letting fear hold me back?
Then one day, my pastor asked me to speak at church—to share what was happening in my life group.
And…surprise, surprise! I said ,“No.”
This wasn’t a gentle no. Not a “let me pray about it” no. It was an emphatic, NO!
Which was wild—because I wanted to share. Our group had become a family. Lives were changing. We prayed together, supported one another through hard seasons, shared tears and laughter. I wanted to encourage others. I wanted to inspire them.
But fear grabbed the microphone before I ever could.
That night, I went home feeling like a failure. I looked at my life, my career, my progress—and realized something painful: I was keeping myself small. Not because I wasn’t capable. But because I was afraid of what people thought of me.
So I prayed the most honest prayer I could:
“God, please help me be brave.”
I wish I could say that the very next day I stood on a stage, fearless and glowing.
I didn’t.
What I did do was start reading. Learning. Studying confidence, courage, and public speaking. Page by page. Step by step. Quietly, but intentionally.
A few years later, everything shifted.
I moved to the United States and began teaching at the British International School of Houston. I got married. Then I did something that terrified me even more—I quit my job to start my own business. A lifelong dream.
And guess what topic kept showing up?
Public speaking.
I remember thinking, Really, God? This again?
Could I teach public speaking? Yes.
Was I fully living it in every area of my life? Not yet.
But this time, I said yes. No more saying no.
That decision changed everything. I started working with children—teaching them to be brave, bold speakers—because that’s where I felt most comfortable and knew I could make a real difference. Eventually, I expanded to working with adults.
Then one day, sitting in church, I heard words that would change my life:
“We’re going public with this.”
I paused. Wait… is that my voice—or Scripture?
Later, I looked it up—Matthew 5:14–16, The Message version:
“You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill… I’m putting you on a light stand—shine!”
Lightning bolt moment. ⚡️
From that moment on, I knew this wasn’t just a career—it was a calling. This wasn’t just about me getting free—God was asking me to help others use their voices. I was being asked to help others break free from fear and to go public.
The more I researched, the clearer it became: public speaking isn’t just a skill.
It’s a bridge.
It connects people.
It inspires change.
It establishes leadership.
And Scripture confirms this again and again.
Moses famously made excuses about his voice. And God responded,
“Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?”
– Exodus 4:11 NIV
Imagine if Moses had stayed silent. Would a nation have remained in captivity? Would his purpose have been fulfilled? His destiny depended on his willingness to speak.
Wisdom doesn’t whisper from the corner. It speaks. It shows up. It takes space.
“Wisdom shouts in the street,
She raises her voice in the public square;
At the head of the noisy streets she cries out;
At the entrance of the gates in the
city she declared her sayings:”
– Proverbs 1:20–21
Proverbs 31:8–9 NIV calls us to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves:
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.”
As I continued working with people, after much prayer and research, I created a clear, step-by-step blueprint for teaching public speaking.
I call it The 7 Pillars of a Powerful M.E.S.S.A.G.E.
When I look back now, I’m continually amazed by the people I get to work with. I’m in awe when I hear stories of individuals who once feared speaking—and now are confident communicators and show up fully in their careers and relationships.
And I’m amazed that I get to do this work at all. All because I said yes—before I felt ready, before I felt confident, before I had it all figured out. God met me where I was and took me further than I ever dreamed.
So now, I ask you:
What is holding you back?
Who would you help if you spoke up?
Think of the person waiting for you to help them.
Because here’s the truth: the world needs your voice. Your perspective matters. Your words can impact one person—or one hundred.
Let your voice shine—as publicly as a city on a hill.
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