Practicing His Presence

Have you ever gone through seasons where God is silent? Like you know He’s with you but He’s quiet. You’re asking all kinds of questions and going to Him with all kinds of petitions but nothing. That’s where I’ve been recently. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t feel like He abandoned me I just realized He wasn’t answering my questions or guiding me in the way I’ve been used to.

I even looked back at a past season where I would hear Him so clearly giving me instructions line by line. And I thought let me employ the same posture as I did then which was sitting in my blue armchair with my journal, bible, and soft music. Then I’d invite Him into my space, sit quietly for a timed 20 minutes, then open my journal and write down my question. I would wait to hear His answer, write that down, and so on until we went through all of my questions for that day.

I tried doing that in the last few weeks but to no avail. I didn’t hear anything on my questions. Fortunately, instead of getting frustrated, I got curious about this silent place. I asked, “What is this about? What do You want me to know about this silence?” Once again, I didn’t get an immediate answer but I got a recurring question I had been asking myself for months. “Brenda, are you spending time with God because you enjoy His presence or because you want what He can provide?” I’ve heard it said this way too, “Are you seeking God’s face or His hand?” It was a convicting question. Was I being selfish and me-centered in my relationship with God? Once again, I didn’t get an answer but I did make a choice.

I decided that the next time I would spend time with God, I wouldn’t take my list with me, nor ask anything instead, I would just sit quietly, welcome Him and enjoy His presence. Earlier this week, I did it. I just sat with Him and told Him the agenda was His. Whether He wanted to speak or not, I was ok with it. When I came out of that time, I didn’t have answers but I did have a deep sense of peace that surpasses all understanding. (Philippians 4:7) I felt grounded, and like I had accomplished a lot in that time of solitude with Him.

After my time with God, I was reminded of one of my favorite books, an oldie but goodie, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. My eyes were quickly drawn to three sentences in the First Conversation, I highlighted years ago,

“That we should establish ourselves in a sense of God’s presence by continually conversing with Him. That it was a shameful thing to quit His conversation to think of trifles and fooleries. That we should feed and nourish our souls with high notions of God, which would yield us great joy in being devoted to Him.”

– (Lawrence 1967, 16)

I want “great joy in being devoted to Him.” I don’t want to turn from Him and occupy myself with “trifles and fooleries”. I want to enjoy His presence just like I would like the same done for me in my relationships. We can always tell can’t we, when we are in “one-sided” relationships? I know I don’t enjoy being in relationships where I feel like I’m always giving in one way or another. So what would make God any different? Does He enjoy it when all we’re saying is “Gimme! Gimme!” like the leech’s two daughters? (Proverbs 30:15)

I’ve been praying a simple prayer this week. Join me if you will,

Lord, teach me how to seek Your presence and Your face over Your hand. Teach me to just “BE” in Your presence. I ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Until next week …

Miracles + Blessings!

Brenda