Fear not: Death has a silver lining…
The Word of God is true. If we could only believe this, life would be easier, but naturally, that’s the last thing we think of when disaster strikes. Especially the final and irreversible disaster that is death. For me, it was the death of my sister last year.
She was admitted into hospital the previous day with what seemed to be a minor complaint, and I had even spoken to her a few hours before the dreaded middle-of-the-night call. I had, however, been feeling unsettled that evening prior to the call, so I had done the only thing I knew to do: read the Word, pray, praise, and worship. I was also smack bang in the middle of a 21-day prayer, praise and worship challenge. So, I was on a spiritual high, feeling untouchable and very close to God, yet here I was, receiving the worst news possible.
How could God have let that happen?? It didn’t make sense!
I told myself it couldn’t be. Not my beloved sister, not now, not ever! Perhaps I needed to do more, so I shifted into overdrive and prayed and worshipped for the rest of the night, believing for a miracle. I engaged my faith to the maximum and fully believed I would get another call that night, to deliver the good news that it was all a horrible mistake or that, by some miracle, my sister had returned to the world of the living. But that call never came.
As we buried her a few days later, I felt my whole world crash. The weeks and months that ensued were undeniably the worst and most difficult times of my life. The vacuum was (and still is) overwhelming, but the Lord has helped me greatly. I was in a very dark place. However, through it all, I fought with everything within me, against the urge to question God and to turn away from Him. Very difficult thing to do when you feel He has ‘let you down’ but even as I felt the physical and emotional pain of heartbreak.
I knew that if I so much as loosened my grip on Him, I would land on a slippery slope into a deep dark hole that would be difficult to come out of.
So I continued with the painful task of (reluctantly!) praying and staying in the Word. Because I was angry, disappointed, physically ill, and struggling to even get out of bed, it was impossible to string together a sentence to say to God, so I turned to my book, Bible-Based Prayers for Everyday Situations.
Backstory: A few years ago, God ‘tricked’ me into writing this book – a collection of bible-based prayers, to help people pray the Bible, strengthen their prayer lives, and declare the promises of God over everyday situations. How God tricked me is a story for another day. For now, let me just say that God, in His awesome way, used that very same book to help me navigate this deep devastation. As I struggled to speak to Him, the book provided the words I needed to painstakingly pray His Word back to Him. Often it was just a weak whisper, but I was grateful that the book provided me with the words to speak and the best part was, they were words that had come straight from the Bible. From God Himself!
As I continued in prayer, God responded in a totally unexpected way. The overwhelming revelation from this experience is a greater understanding of the futility and meaningless-ness of life. Suddenly, Ecclesiastes 1 (which speaks of the futility of worldly pursuits without God) makes a lot of sense. And so does John 17 which reminds us that we are in this world, but we are not of it. I got a glimpse of the stark difference between the worldly priorities that we hold so dear versus the rich, eternal benefits that await us in eternity.
And of course, the big one: I no longer fear death. The Bible talks about the exceeding and unimaginable beauty and joy of heaven, but to me, this has always been a distant concept. Even then, I have always shied away from facing the mortality of the human race, but the death of my sister has given me a totally different perspective of death (especially my own death) and a far greater acceptance of (and this may sound a bit crazy), the silver lining that surrounds death. I now see, understand, and believe that for those who are in Christ, death is not to be feared. As they say, ‘everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die’ yet, as we know, death is the doorway to heaven. Why then should we fear the doorway that leads to our loving Father and to a reunion with our departed loved ones?
I now see, understand, and believe that for those who are in Christ, death is not to be feared.
Why it had to take the loss of one of my nearest and dearest to get this understanding, I may never know, but God is in control and He knows best. This devastating loss will forever serve as a significant memorial stone along the journey of my life.
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